Good morning. I pray your day is going well.
Having a child with Autism comes with many challenging behaviors. Every child with Autism is different, but many have the same behaviors. Chloe’s behaviors have changed over the years, as she has aged, and many have stayed the same. Some have gotten much, much worse. I am a researcher and when I notice anything I am online or messaging a therapist friend trying to figure it out. I don’t always find an answer, so I try to figure things out on my own. I usually try to stop it or at least take it down a notch.
Let’s Look at Chloe’s Behaviors
*She loves to sing loud and for hours on end!! People say “Oh how sweet”. No it stops being sweet after the first 15 minutes and she gets louder and louder. Then to push it further she sings in a very creepy voice. I can not even describe it. We have had to send her to her room because she won’t stop and we have headaches by the first hour. Her Dad is working from home and this has become a problem. I try to redirect her or take her outside, if weather allows. Sometimes I just have to say “Chloe no more singing” in my stern Mom voice. It works about 50% of the time.
*SHE TALKS TO LOUD!! Not only does she sing loud, she talks loud too. I have been working on this for a few years. Her hearing is fine. I teach the difference between a quiet voice and a loud voice. She gets rather upset if we ask her to use her quiet voice. If she doesn’t try to use a quiet voice and is naughty about it she has to go to her room. I am still researching this topic. Not everything is easily resolved.
*When she gets upset she will hit herself hard in the stomach or head. She is also starting to bite herself. I tell her ” Don’t hit Chloe, that hurts”. Well she now says in public “Don’t hit Chloe”. Oh the looks I get. I have to say “No Chloe doesn’t hit herself when she is mad. I’m sure some parents think “Yeah lady you hit your child”. No I really don’t. If I see her getting upset I try to stop her from hitting herself, but I’m not always successful. She has only hit me a handful of times and she gets upset with herself when she does it.
* Excessive Backtalk. Ok Chloe is almost 9 years old and basically she is between 2 to 3 socially. Little ones talk back younger and younger today. We call Chloe Miss opposite because no matter what we are telling her she will say the opposite. If we say quiet voice , she says LOUD!! If we say sit down, she says GET UP!!! If we say “Do you need to pee in the potty” , she will say “POOP”!! I kid you not. LOL. Well at least I got to check off the she knows her opposites box on her goals for homeschool. Chloe does have to take a time out if she continues to talk back to us. We can tell when she is being defiant and we let her know it is not ok. We give her a chance to listen or she goes to sit in her room.
The Following are more of her OCD Behaviors
* Chloe refuses to put her toys on her shelves and in the toy box. This started about 1 1/2 years ago. She all of a sudden needed every toys where she could see them and she knows EVERYTHING SHE OWNS. If I try to help her put them up or even move them she goes into a full blown panic attack. She licks her lips until they bleed and cries a lot. Her Dad and I are not allowed to touch her toys at all unless she hands them to us. It makes floor time play impossible. This behavior affects her ability to play well. I want to minimize her toys so bad, but I know I cant even try right now. I have contacted one of her past therapists to get help with this. I get so stressed over the mess and have turned my knee stepping over stuff. Her therapist said she may have an object permanence delay. This is a work in progress.
*She will only wear 3 outfits out of the 6 she has. We have minimalist wardrobes and I thought she would love it, since she is picky. She only does this with the dresses, not the pants. Sometimes I delay washing her clothes to see if she will wear the other dresses, but I haven’t won that battle yet. I’m going to try what a past therapists told me. Take pics of each outfit and label them Monday through Friday. She likes scheduling, so we will see if this works. On the weekend she can wear what she wants.
*She has constant fits over food. This has gone on for years. She, like most children with Autism, is picky about what she eats. If she wants something and we say no or she needs to wait for a bit because she just ate she loses it. I have helped this situation by removing a lot of trigger foods from the house. Cheez its were a big issue and chips. She has healthier choices and she hasn’t been wanting to snack as much. She eats better at meals, so that’s great.
So those are the top behavior issues we deal with. We just keep pushing on and take it a day at a time. I pray every day for God to give us what we need to care for Chloe and guide her to better choices. Some days are way easier that others for sure. We try to focus on the positive moments more often. The Bible says God will not give us more than we can handle and I believe that.
Do any of your kiddos have behaviors that are hard for you to deal with? Let me know in the comments.
Thanks for stopping by and have a blessed day.