Good morning. I hope everyone is having a wonderful Sunday so far. I wanted to touch on a subject that is a bit tough for me. Why we don’t attend church. My husband and I have been church members for many years. I have personally attended church since I was a small child. My grandparents would pick me up every Sunday and sometimes on Wednesday night. As I grew up I attended church regularly. I had a lull during my first marriage because, well that’s a story for another time. When I became a single mom I took my children to church as often as I could.
When I remarried I was excited to begin attending church as a family again. He had children from his first marriage, so we had a big group. My husband had been very involved in church in the past. He had been a Sunday school teacher, a deacon and had run many ministries in our church. We actually met in church. We attended pretty regularly until I got pregnant with Chloe. I was quite sick with her and put on bedrest pretty much after the first trimester. My older daughter still went to youth and Sunday School. I hated missing, but had to put my health first.
Once Chloe was born I wanted to get back as soon as possible. We took her when she was 6 weeks old. She was very loved in the nursery. As the years went on Chloe began getting very anxious about going. I even had to stay with her in class from time to time. I became a volunteer in that area to be there if she needed me.
My husband started teaching 4th and 5th grade Sunday school. I would join him from time to time. He is a very gifted teacher and the kids loved him. I just didn’t feel I fitted in with the older kids and made my way back to the littles. When Chloe moved upstairs to the preschool area she was happy one Sunday and anxious the next. She was diagnosed with Autism that same year. She was obsessed with the kids in the class. She knew their names and said them often. If one of them was out on Sunday she didn’t like it. Then it flipped to where she was more relaxed the fewer kids there were.
This is when the “NO CHURCH”!! began. We were determined to keep her going and she was determined to not go or throw a fit when we made her. A longer story short we stopped going and tried to work on her extreme anxiety over church and being around other kids. I would try to take her to special events like VBS or the yearly Easter egg Hunt. She just couldn’t handle the number of people and got overstimulated very quickly. We finally conceded to keep her home.
It’s 4 years later and she still will not even talk about church. She can however tell you who Jesus is and what Noah did. We have never stopped teaching our daughter about the Bible. I try to do a daily devotion and my husband and I just started a new Bible study called Heaven. Do I miss church? Yes very much. I wish Chloe could experience a close church family and make lots of friends from church. That just isn’t in the cards right now. I don’t know if it will ever be. All I know is we are a Christian family and even without a church home we strive to live as God wants us to. We are certainly not perfect, but we do the best we can. We had to put our daughter’s needs first and I know God understands that. I teach her Bible History as part of homeschool and we listen to Christian music all the time. Chloe likes to pray before meals and before bed. I think we are doing well. Maybe someday things will change, but until then we will do our HOME CHURCH (as Chloe calls it) and be content with that.
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